Thursday, June 22, 2006


Being in the corporate world, I hear a lot of words that I term are "corporate-speak." There are a few words that I would really rather never have to hear again. In no specific order, here they are (sure to be added to) --

  1. "Proactive" Stupid word. Redundant. Excessive. The proper term is "active."
  2. "Prioritize" Put "ize" on anything and corporate bafoons take to it like maggots on shit.
  3. "Productionalize" Ditto.
  4. "Layoff" If you've been "laid off," you just got bent over and fired.
  5. "Offline" as in, "Let's talk about this offline." You never hear this while someone's online, so I am not sure what the @#*!$ they're talking about. You mean "Let's talk about this later?"
  6. "Right size" You've just been laid off, er, fired.
  7. "Ping me" I'm not a freakin' submarine, nor am I a computer network, so shut the eff up.
  8. "Grow" when "increase" is meant. As in "grow revenue." Revenue is not a plant that one just plants, waters, feeds, and harvests. It's similar, I guess, but not the same. So, use "increase" when that's what you mean, okay?
  9. "Going forward" What? You mean "from now on?"
Do you have any words you just despise? If so, please ping me :)
Here's a better list -- The Encyclopedia of Business Cliches by Seth Godin