Thursday, July 02, 2009

Unknown Life Form Found in North Carolina Sewer

It's probably some sort of tobacco experiment gone awry.
It pulsates. It’s gooey and slimy. Is it dangerous?

This morning, scientists around the world are working to identify an unknown life form. In North Carolina sewer systems, there are many mysteries. The footage you see on the left is from a “snake camera” in a North Carolina sewer.
Rave - Unknown Life Form In North Carolina!

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Wednesday, July 01, 2009

Boxing Champion Alexis Arguello Found Dead

Another of my boyhood idols has died. Alexis Arguello was probably the greatest "thin" boxer of all time. At 5' 10" he was a very tall lightweight champion who paced a solid punch. He became mayor of Managua last year, I believe.

I'm beginning to think I ought to rename Rants to Obits. What do you think?
MANAGUA, Nicaragua (AP) — Former boxing champion Alexis Arguello, one of the best junior lightweights to step in the ring, was found dead at his home early Wednesday.
The Associated Press: Former boxing champ, Managua mayor Arguello dead

Monday, June 29, 2009

Change Is Coming to Rants

Hi everybody, I'm contemplating a change to the blog -- I may be moving from Blogger.com to WordPress. Why? Almost all of my other sites are WP blogs and I'm really loving it. So you might see changes here soon.

Saturday, June 27, 2009

Which internet browser would you choose: Firefox or Chrome? http://ping.fm/Zyl6W

Friday, June 26, 2009

No Pills Found, But Dirty Tampon Ordered Kept In

In another case of WHAT THE FUCK?, the US Supreme Court has found that strip searching teens in school is not a good idea. Unless you're Clarence Thomas, of course. He wants closer examination of the young white girl's nether region.

School officials in Arizona ordered the girl to expose herself in order to ascertain whether she was hiding pain relief medication in her underwear.

In an 8-1 ruling the Supreme Court found that school officials violated the girl's 4th amendment rights. Well, duh.

Don't schools have more to do than look for non-prescription drugs on kids? What EXACTLY is wrong with Arizona?

Are they crazy from the heat?

Justices: Strip search of teen was illegal - Crime & courts- msnbc.com
WASHINGTON - The Supreme Court said Thursday school officials acted illegally when they strip-searched an Arizona teenage girl looking for prescription-strength ibuprofen.
What a bunch of retarded, sick fucks.

School officials, by the way, cannot be held liable for breaking the law. Which means that even though Savana Redding's rights were violated, they can keep doing it again and again. Talk about a bunch of pussies on the Court!

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Thursday, June 25, 2009

Michael Jackson is Dead

He's dead. He's the third in the string - Farrah Fawcett, Ed McMahon, now...it's inevitable.

Or, maybe he's not. The news report does not say Michael Jackson is dead; just that he was rushed to a hospital and CPR was performed on him. That, however, was nearly 3 hours ago...

Plus, I thought he moved across the globe to escape imprisonment and/or bankruptcy...now he makes the ultimate escape. The idols of the 80s are dying...and so too is a piece of my childhood.

LA Times: Michael Jackson hospitalized - Yahoo! News
LOS ANGELES – A fire department official tells the Los Angeles Times that Michael Jackson has been rushed to the hospital.

Steve Ruda (ROO'-dah) told the newspaper Thursday that Jackson was not breathing when Los Angeles Fire Department paramedics responded to a call at his Los Angeles home about 12:30 p.m.
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Fled Sanford: South Carolina Governor Having Affair

This is GREAT news for the Republican party. I withheld comment yesterday when I first heard that South Carolina governor, Mark Sanford, had gone missing. Reports were that we had gone "hiking" (guess I can't use that excuse any more!) - but it was eventually determined that he had gotten on an airplane and flew to Sound America...

Now, the cynic in me was expecting that he'd turn up in a gay relationship with a small boy. I mean, these Republicans and so-called, self-proclaimed "conservatives," have a track record, a soiled history if you will, of coming down with the "gay disease" they so often publicly disdain.

I'm still not convinced that the "Maria" Sanford shacked up with, lost his marriage over, and blew his political career is really not Mario. Until I see pictures of "her" (was "she" formerly a man?), and see "her" tell the full complete story, I'm holding on to idea that Maria is Mario.

Here's a great line from Mark Sanford Mistress Photo:Argentina
Mark Sanford met Maria back in 2001 in New York and the two developed a friendship after she asked the politician some advice on saving her marriage.
He's Dick Cheney! "Hey, find me a Vice President."

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Wednesday, June 24, 2009

What's the Deal with Iran?

I admit I haven't been paying attention to Iran. We have so many problems here: California is in deep doodoo, I'm losing my job, the economy sucks (but it's getting better!), and Jon and Kate split up (or so I assume).

(That last one really has me worried!)

But I hear that Iran had an election and the results are in dispute. What a shocker! A corrupt government ruled by a "Supreme Leader" or some shit like that (I'll take a chalupa with my Burrito Supreme) -- did anybody think things would turn out any different?

Now, the oridinary citizens of Iran have taken to the streets and started some crap they cannot finish -- without help.

And guess who is being held up as the knights in shining armor? Yeah, the US.

Um, no.

Obama is getting praise from the left for his stance on Iran (stand pat); he's getting lambasted for being sympathetic to Middle Eastern concerns from the right.

Apparently, now the Iranian government is beating the protestors and getting them to admit to acting on behalf of outside interests like our very own CIA!

(Didn't we do the same to those suspected terrorists at Gitmo? Memories...)

Anyway, the real reason I haven't been paying attention to Iran is because I really don't care. I do feel sorry for folks who want a better life. I really do. But why in the world would I think it's appropriate to meddle in another country's affairs?

I know, the US has been doing this for decades. Why stop now? Well, for one, the economy. For two, we're already in Afghanistan and Iraq. For three, the economy. Did I mention the economy?

If we cannot take care of ourselves, how can we take care of others?

Man Falls from Bank and Lives to Get Assessed Onerous Bank Fees Yet Again

I hope he didn't take a "you cannot land on top of the bank" fee!
MILWAUKEE – A window washer survived a six-story fall from a bank building with one thought in mind — when was his safety rope going to catch?

It never did.

"I kept falling," 21-year-old Alex Clay said in a phone interview Tuesday night from Luther Hospital in Eau Claire. "It all happened so fast. I kept waiting. When's it going to catch?

"There's a little roof over the entryway. I bounced off of that and then hit the pavement."
Wis. man survives 6-story fall from bank building - Yahoo! News
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Tuesday, June 23, 2009

This is a test from ping.fm. Is this thing on?!!!

Grandma Foils Armed Intruder

Moxie!
MACHIAS, Maine – After being told by her daughter that a man in their home was an armed intruder, a 77-year-old woman pulled a gun on him and sent him running, according to court documents. The Bangor Daily News reported that family members have been referring to Doris Gatchell of Princeton as "Annie Oakley" after she confronted the man Friday.
Armed Maine woman, 77, teaches intruder a lesson - Yahoo! News
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Friday, June 19, 2009

Tastes Great Versus Less Filling

NJ casino fined in brew-haha over mislabeled beer - Yahoo! News
ATLANTIC CITY, N.J. – Ever wonder what the difference is between "tastes great" and "less filling?"

In one Atlantic City casino, it's $5,000.

That's how much the New Jersey Casino Control Commission fined Resorts Atlantic City on Wednesday for having mislabeled beer keg taps at one casino bar on two occasions last year.

In March, one tap was labeled "Miller Lite" and another one "Miller Genuine Draft." But both taps were connected to a keg containing the light beer.

Regulators say a similar situation in August occurred in which taps labeled "Coors Original" and "Coors Light" were both dispensing the full-calorie, full-carb brew.

Resorts declined to comment.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

John Ziegler is a Dumbass

I heard that about "50 people" attended the Fire David Letterman protest, but that 35 of them were with the media. My simple math tells me that 15 people attended the ceremony.

Nice.

Power to the people.

Or should I say, "sheeple?"

I've never heard of the idiots who organized this thing; I expect I'll never hear of them again. Apparently, one of the organizers bolted from the scene in a cab when he realized there was nothing there. Almost nobody showed up.

But I did hear some audio from the event. You had the typical idiots spouting off crap about Letterman (you know, he's a perv) along with some bitch talking about how he rapes people with his mouth!

Wow. Maybe Carlin or Bruce or Pryor or Schimmel. But not Dave. He may harp on you hard, but he certainly does not have a filthy mouth. At least in public. He's controlled by the FCC for goshsakes.

Idiots!
But the governor's acceptance didn't stop several dozen protesters from gathering outside New York's Ed Sullivan Theater, where "Late Show" is taped. The event was organized by the group FireDavidLetterman.com.

"We don't believe there's been any accountability at all here," said John Ziegler, a libertarian (code word for "idiot?") Los Angeles talk radio host who is serving as a spokesperson for the group. "We believe he's benefited from this."
David Letterman finds humor in Palin uproar as protesters chant | Show Tracker | Los Angeles Times

No, dumbass, what he's benefited from is YOUR amplification of the episode. Refer to previous posts where other comedians told jokes about Palin...where was your outrage then? This whole thing wouldn't be a thing if not for you and your miscreant cohorts.

Related Posts:
Where Was the Outrage When Conan O'Brien Made Gang...
Jay Leno Told Underage Rape Palin Joke
Fire David Letterman Squidoo Lens
David Letterman Will Be Fired Today
Sarah Palin is the Biggest Bitch on the Planet and...
Letterman versus Palin OR Intelligent Human Agains...

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Wednesday, June 17, 2009

President Obama is a Stone-Cold Killing Machine

This is a graphic story. Due to the violence reported, and possible visible violence on the video, you may want to shield the eyes of your pet flies, moths, butterflies, and other flying insects!
President Obama, apparently irritated by incessant fly buzzing interrupting his TV interview at the Executive Mansion took some executive action, but not without warning. The president first spoke to the fly in question, uttering a stern, "Get out of here," but the pesky insect, obviously a Republican, refused to budge.
So, Obama killed him. With his bare hands. Then was proud of it. And you thought John McCain was the warrior! HA!

Obama kills fly, Kate Gosselin "spanks" Leah (Pet Rock: The Pop Culture Blog) - Newsday.com

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Where Was the Outrage When Conan O'Brien Made Gang Rape Joke About Palin's Daughters?

Conan O'Brien said this:
On October 8, 2008, Sarah Palin walked out on the ice with six year old Piper and 13 year old Willow, before the game, Conan O'Brien said, "Saturday night, Sarah Palin is going to drop the first puck at the Philadelphia Flyers' hockey game. Then Palin will spend the rest of the game trying to keep the hockey players out of her daughter's penalty box."
Where was the outrage then? Conan's joke clearly was aimed at Piper (6 at the time) and Willow (13 at the time), IF Dave's joke was targeted at Willow (at the game = the butt of the joke).

For God's sake, Piper was 6! And we're not talking rape, here, we're talking gang rape amongst 20 and 30-somethings on a 6 year old!

Outrage? I didn't hear any...Maybe the Palin's TV was broken. Their phone was turned off. The paper boy forgot to deliver their newspaper...

What do right wingnuts have against David Letterman?

Shannyn Moore: Top 10 Reasons Sarah Palin's "Outrage" is Misplaced and A Little Late...

Jay Leno Told Underage Rape Palin Joke

Where was the outrage?

Underage daughter getting knocked up by John Edwards (that's the implication). Maybe the Palins are too stupid to make inferences.
"Gov. Palin announced over the weekend that her 17-year-old unmarried daughter is five months pregnant. And you thought John Edwards was in trouble before! Now he has really done it." -- "The Tonight Show With Jay Leno," 9/2/08
Comics Crack Wise on Palin's Pregnant Daughter - ABC News

Breastfed Babies Are Smarter

But what about crack babies?
Breastfed babies seem more likely to do well at high school and to go on to attend college than infants raised on a bottle, according to a new U.S. study.
Study links breastfeeding to high grades, college entry - Yahoo! News

Monday, June 15, 2009

Rants -- June 15, 2009

Welcome to the June 15, 2009 edition of Rants. 

Wenchypoo presents Now I'M Changing the Marketing Plan posted at Wisdom From Wenchypoo's Mental Wastebasket. 

Wenchypoo presents The Protectionist Plastic Police posted at Wisdom From Wenchypoo's Mental Wastebasket. 

Sue Roth presents Euthanasia: the path to “dignity”??? posted at IN HIM WE LIVE AND MOVE AND HAVE OUR BEING, saying, "On euthanasia and the decline of physicians' ethical standards." 

Aetius Romulous presents Freud's Bastards posted at ScreamBucket. 

Shaun Duke presents Lit Rant: A Few Thousand People Does Not a Movement Make (Or Why Podcasting Ain't That Great) posted at The World in the Satin Bag, saying, "Podcasting is not as great as some are saying, and I think it's about time someone said so.(If you want me to submit something that is more political, let me know)."

Ruoall Chapman presents Everything you need to know about how to Make Online Beats posted at Make Online Beats. 

Eric Kuha presents Why the California Supreme Court Screwed Up on Gay Marriage posted at Spin One Half, saying, "California Supreme Court has not served democracy. This is a biological take on the same-sex marriage issue." 

Bob Brooks presents The Car CZAR has Spoken posted at Bob Brooks - Prudent Money Blog. 

NotYourDaddy presents Entitlement, Dependency, Control posted at Government is not your Daddy., saying, "For years, our government has been actively encouraging people to become less and less self-reliant. By the same token, it has been making us more and more dependent on government. The flip side of dependency is control. The more dependent one is on another, the more control the other has over them. Perhaps the underlying motivation is not so innocent as politicians trying to buy their constituents’ love. Perhaps it’s far more insidious." 

NotYourDaddy presents Rise Up and Take a Stand posted at Government is not your Daddy., saying, "Margaret Goodwin addresses the Tax Day Tea Party in Grants Pass, Oregon about Our Grievances, and delivers a call to action to rise up and take a stand against overtaxation and overregulation." 

Bob Brooks presents New Credit Card Laws - Victory for the Credit Card Industry and Congress??? posted at Bob Brooks - Prudent Money Blog. 

steven germain presents Why We Believe Big Lies (Iraq & Torture) posted at Rough Fractals, saying, "Lies and more lies..." 

Shot presents Michael Steele is a potted plant. posted at Conunderground.com. 

Wolfgang presents How Small Is This Man's Penis? posted at Inebriated Discourse. 

Glowing Face Man presents Why English Should Not Be The Official Language of the U.S. posted at Glowing Face Man: Awaken the Badass Within, saying, "I don't think the government should "officially declare" English to be the "official language". I think it's a stupid wedge issue!" 

Rick Foreman presents Proselytizers at the Door posted at Waiting for the Singularity. 

Madeleine Begun Kane presents Hark! The Disgraced Former Speaker Speaks. posted at Mad Kane's Political Madness. 

Greg Laden presents Happy Memorial Day, Jane Fonda posted at Quiche Moraine. 

Mikkal Travvis presents How To Survive A Flu Pandemic posted at Bird Flu Pandemic. 

Muhammad Usman presents Drones and FATA posted at here's my dodo. 

Archvillain presents American Taliban posted at A Dark and Sinister Force for Good, saying, "Why do we permit superstitious savages to operate freely in defiance of our laws?" 

Wenchypoo presents Late Night Energy Examination posted at Wisdom From Wenchypoo's Mental Wastebasket, saying, "This post has absolutely nothing to do with politics, but it will show you what Obama's "efficiency quest" will bring us in the future." 

Wenchypoo presents Examining Efficiency Again: About Those Dishwashers... posted at Wisdom From Wenchypoo's Mental Wastebasket, saying, "A follow-up article to my last submission, and yet MORE info on the effects of Obama's "efficiency quest" down the road.

In the end, what we'll wind up with: washers and dishwashers that take an hour to run a load, and dryers that take 3 hours or longer to dry a load, depending on what's in it. In short, it's machine use discouragement, and we're back to Granny, the wringer washer or scrub board, and clotheslines...not to mention having our kids stand in chairs beside us at the sink helping us do dishes by hand.

So much for labor-saving devices!" 

Rabbit presents Feminism and Circumcision posted at Rabbit Write. 

gary ganu presents Why Multiculturalism is Bad For America posted at garyganu, saying, "Conservative news and opinion, mostly opinion. I base my views on my personal experience, reason and common sense."

That concludes this edition. Submit your blog article to the next edition of Rants using our carnival submission form.

Past posts and future hosts can be found on our blog carnival index page.

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Officer Got More Than He Bargained for in Egg McMuffin

That is nasty!
BERRIEN SPRINGS, Mich. – Authorities said a man faces a felony charge after allegedly spitting on a police officer's McDonald's breakfast sandwich. Police said a 32-year-old man was working the drive-thru window at the southwest Michigan restaurant when an unidentified officer bit into an Egg McMuffin on June 3 and immediately realized something was wrong.
Man accused of spitting on officer's Egg McMuffin - Yahoo! News

Fire David Letterman Squidoo Lens

When you're up against a juggernaut, you learn to embrace small victories - I just snatched the title, Fire David Letterman, on Squidoo.

Read my (Don't) Fire David Letterman Squidoo lens now. Show your support. This could backfire on me (and on Dave), of course, but there are two things about this story:

  1. I am a HUGE David Letterman fan, and
  2. I hate Sarah Palin and everything she stands for!
Thank our creator that she didn't become second in line when John McCain keeled over from the stress of being President!

David Letterman Will Be Fired Today

As you know, if you've been here once, I'm a HUGE David Letterman fan. He's simply the best late night talk show host EVER (yes, better than his idol, Johnny Carson, whom I also loved).

But the flap over Sarah Palin is getting out of hand. There's a group that's been formed that is calling for Dave Letterman to be fired. (Can you guess the URL? I'm not giving it out here but it's of the format, "Fire [insert host name here].com")

Les Moonves and Dave have a love-hate relationship. Dave pokes fun at CBS all the time. I'm sure Les doesn't like it.

Today, it's common for people to be fired for what they say, even if what they say is what they're paid for. But it will come down to how much flak CBS gets over this: Just follow the vanishing money.

If advertisers leave the Letterman show, you can be sure that CBS will leave Letterman. Fired.

It's a shame, too. The joke that has the rightwingnuts ruffled is certainly no worse than thanking a murderer for killing a doctor. Wait, I take that back. It's WAY worse.

We hurt somebody's feelings (by the way, this is a bimbo who's proud of her public persona of being a pitbull with lipstick), which is way worse than just killing them.

I think Barack Obama ought to get Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Glen Beck, and all those other puppets of the idiots masquarading as conservatives FIRED, too. After all, they've called him a socialist, and that's way worse than saying somebody got knocked up. That is, if you're an American! Like these impostors like to portray themselves.

You can read how I really feel here.

Sarah Palin is the Biggest Bitch on the Planet and She's a Pedophile Too 

Friday, June 12, 2009

Sarah Palin is the Biggest Bitch on the Planet and She's a Pedophile Too

I hated her when she ran for VP (no qualifications, other than being a bitch, like Cheney), and I hate her even more now. Yes, I'll admit, she's somewhat HOT on occasion, but bitches usually are (they know they can get away with it).

(Here's a short list of all my posts about how I love hate her so.)
I'll also admit that I'm a HUGE David Letterman fan. I grew up watching Dave. He's simply the funniest and BEST late night talk show host ever.

But I digress. Did Dave cross a line when he made a joke about Alex Rodriguez knocking up Palin's daughter? I don't think so.

Here's the quote:
One awkward moment for Sarah Palin at the Yankee game, during the seventh inning, her daughter was knocked up by Alex Rodriguez.
...I would say that you and anybody else are extremely naive to
believe that very convenient excuse of David Letterman's the other day.
Sarah Palin made the choice to enter the national spotlight. If she thought that her family was off-limits, then she's the naive one.

Sorry, Sarah, you're an idiot. It's so convenient for you to make the barbs, but you get all hormonal when somebody else does.

How's this for taking a joke and making it worse?
In a sharply worded response to the off-color remarks, a Palin spokesperson said earlier this week that "it would be wise to keep Willow away from David Letterman," a veiled suggestion that he couldn't be trusted around teen girls.

Asked Friday to explain the statement, Palin dug her claws in.

"Hey, take it however you want to take it," she shot back. "It is a comment that came from the heart that Willow, no doubt, would want to stay away from David Letterman after he made such a comment. And you can interpret that however you want to interpret it."
Really? David Letterman is a pedophile because he made a joke about the morals of your family? I think you're the pedophile, Sarah Palin. You let your daughter get pregnant, probably in your own house, before she was mature enough to be a mom. And you probably wouldn't let her have an abortion or put the child up for adoption. Some might say you are an accomplice of a sex crime.

Here's the story -- Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin: David Letterman encouraged 'acceptance of abuse of younger women'

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Letterman versus Palin OR Intelligent Human Against Stupid Cyborg

Hollywood Feuds - ABC News
David Letterman's latest target? Sarah Palin, governor of Alaska and former Republican vice-presidential candidate. Letterman took aim at Palin in his June 8, 2009 monologue, making fun of her recent trip to New York City.

The late-night comic joked that she bought makeup at Bloomingdales to "update her slutty flight attendant" look and keyed the car of her famous doppelganger, Tina Fey. Gov.

Palin responded in an interview on John Ziegler's radio show June 9, calling Letterman"pathetic" and saying it's "very sad" he chose not to recognize the charity work she did in New York.
(Getty Images/AP Photo)
No, Sarah, it's pathetic that you cannot take a joke. After all, you're a public figure, and it's part of the deal.

Can't stand the heat? Hire an illegal to do your cooking for you.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Grandmother and the Taser

Watch the video. The officer did her a service. She has a filthy mouth, she resisted arrest, she could have been run over by passing cars, and I would have done a double-leg take-down, hog tied her, and duct-taped her mouth.

Then, I would lose my job, get sued, and lose.
A feisty 72-year-old great- grandmother was tasered after a police officer pulled her over for speeding. The Travis County, Texas dashboard camera captured the altercation between officer Chris Bieze and Kathryn Winkfein that happened last month.
This is one of many reasons I am not a police officer.

Police Officer Tases Great Grandmother - ABC News

Monday, June 08, 2009

Must See TV - Stephen Colbert in Iraq

Stephen Colbert gets a crew cut in Iraq | csmonitor.com
Stephen Colbert gets a crew cut in Iraq
Gen. Ray Odierno shaved the comedian's head – under orders from President Obama – during one of four shows of the Colbert Report taped on location in Baghdad.

Tuesday, June 02, 2009

Happy Birthday!

Hey, if it's your birthday, take this picture to heart. It's how I really feel about you!

Seriously, this is my famous "blank stare." It's good to know that the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

My boy has it down.

Lebron James: Big Baby or Just an Ass?

After losing in the NBA conference finals, Lebron James, of the Cleveland Cavaliers, didn't do the obligatory "congratulations parade" with the other team. He said,
If somebody beats you up, you’re not going to congratulate them. It doesn’t make sense for me to go over and shake somebody’s hand.

Of course, when he won, he was there standing in line for the handshake.

What an ass. Somebody needs to teach that kid some manners.

King James left the playoffs as a loser - NBA - Yahoo! Sports

Jose Canseco Loses Again

"Hoser" should stay out of the ring...
Canseco came into the arena to ``Wild Thing'' with a baseball bat on his shoulder. The way things turned out, he probably should have kept the bat.
Canseco strikes out in mixed martial arts debut

Monday, June 01, 2009

Sex as Cancer Cure?

Docs advised sex for cancer | The Sun |Woman|Health|Health
NEWLY WEDS Rebecca and Scott Hunkins were told by docs to have SEX to help Rebecca recover from devastating cervical cancer.
If anything good ever came of cancer, this has to be near the top of the list. At least as pleasures of the flesh go.

Friday, May 29, 2009

National Spelling Bee Champion - Kavya Shivashankar from

Some commentary about the spelling bee -

From Midwest Voices
Kavya Shivashankar of Olathe, the Scripps National Spelling Bee champion, gives Kansas a welcome national reputation boost.
From Pet Rock: The Pop Culture Blog

Get a look at some of the words in the final round these kids were asked to attempt to spell:

phoresy
menhir
Maecenas
sophrosyne
isagoge
guayabera
ophelimity
oriflamme
bouquiniste
antonomasia
diacoele
reredos

Seriously, these are words? These aren't words. These are those security captcha code words that make you turn your head in nine different directions trying to figure out if that's an "r" or an "f" or an "a" or an "n."

That's funny!

Here's the zinger -

(also from Pet Rock: The Pop Culture Blog)
She won it by spelling her last name. Just kidding!

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Penn Jillette and Tony Robbins Are the Same Person


I heard on the radio this morning what appeared to be the voice of Penn Jillette, only to find out shortly thereafter that it was Tony Robbins!

The question is:

Is Penn a motivational speaker or is Tony Robbins just an illusionist?

You decide! I know my answer :)

I am just saddened that Tom Selleck is now selling Robbins' wares. I mean, the guy speaks the truth, but it's just truth that anyone with any sense should know already. Why spend hundreds of dollars just to learn what you already know?

Okay, now you know my answer!

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

GOP: 7 Stages of Grief Over Sonia Sotomayor's Supreme Court Nomination

This is kinda funny...
The right-wing reaction to Sonia Sotomayor's nomination to the Supreme Court was as swift, as it was scattershot, encompassing, it would seem, all 7 stages of grief.
GOP enters 7 stages of grief over Sonia Sotomayor's Supreme Court justice nomination

USS Vandenberg to Become Marine Habitat

It's a nice gesture, but these things always, somehow, turn out wrong. There's probably some hidden toxic material that will kill off hundreds of animals and plants.
The Vandenberg will become habitat for marine life and also will be an attraction for divers and anglers, the TV station said.
Decommissioned Navy ship to become reef - UPI.com

Obama Get Triple Bagger - Woman, Minority, Poor Upbringing

It remains to be seen whether he'll cross home plate on this one, but it appears that Obama's nomination of US Court of Appeals, Second Circuit, Judge Sonia Sotomayor, is a hit.
Updated, 11:33 a.m. | President Obama’s decision to nominate Sonia Sotomayor for the Supreme Court has cast a spotlight on New York. Judge Sotomayor, who sits on the United States Court of Appeals for the Second Circuit, is the daughter of Puerto Rican parents and was raised in a Bronx housing project not far from Yankee Stadium, and her biography was emphasized in a White House news conference at which Mr. Obama announced the nomination.
Statements on Sotomayor Appointment - City Room Blog - NYTimes.com



Tuesday, May 26, 2009

North Korea Performs Another Nuke Test

I know, this is serious stuff. Next thing you know, we'll be invading North Korea. But here's something to lighten the mood from one of my favorite satirists, Andy Borowitz.

Andy Borowitz: U.S. to Respond to North Korea with 'Strongest Possible Adjectives'
One day after North Korea launched a successful test of a nuclear weapon, President Obama said that the United States was prepared to respond to the threat with "the strongest possible adjectives."

Cocaine Found in Red Bull

The ultimate energy drink. See, if we just legalized drugs, we could all be super-human!

The Associated Press: Cocaine test prompts Red Bull removal in Germany
BERLIN (AP) — Six German states have told retailers to stop selling Red Bull Cola energy drinks after a test found a trace amount of cocaine.

Mike Tyson's Daughter is Critically Injured

In another fateful twist of Mike Tyson's life, his 4 year old daughter, Exodus Tyson, is in extremely critical condition at St. Joseph's Hospital after being found hanging from a power cord.
The 4-year-old daughter of former heavyweight boxing champ Mike Tyson was critically injured on Monday in what police said was a tragic accident at home. According to Fox News, Exodus Tyson was found by her 7-year-old brother hanging from the cord of a treadmill. At press time was reported to be in "extremely" critical condition and on life support at St. Joseph's Hospital.
Mike Tyson's Daughter Exodus Critically Injured In Accident - News Story | Music, Celebrity, Artist News | MTV News

Monday, May 25, 2009

Stealing Panties Carries Hefty Bail

He returned them! Pretty sure I would not want them back, even if thoroughly cleaned!
SAN JUAN, Puerto Rico – Puerto Rico police said they have arrested a man accused of snatching 88 pieces of underwear from a neighbor's clothesline. The man was charged with theft and illegal appropriation. Police said Wednesday that he returned all $1,000 worth of underwear to the woman.

They said he stole the items from his 29-year-old neighbor over a period of several months in the rural town of Orocovis. She apparently had to keep buying more to replace those that vanished from her line.

He was jailed Tuesday pending a $20,000 bond.
Man accused of stealing 88 panties from neighbor - Yahoo! News

Friday, May 22, 2009

Rants - May 22, 2009

Welcome to the May 22, 2009 edition of Rants. Do me a favor -- blog about this post (link back to it), twit it, Facebook it, share it. Let's get more folks looking at this carnival, posting to it, and commenting about it!

Of course, promoting this carnival is not your obligation, and I will not decline your Rants just because you didn't help me get the word out about it (it's actually in your best interest to do a little self-promotion about your own Rants here), but I really would appreciate some links back here.

Thanks!!!

KP Silverman presents Don't Call It a Comeback posted at Kpsilverman's Weblog.

Mikkal Travvis presents American Christians Approve Of Torture? posted at The Last Days.

Wenchypoo presents Global Warming--When All Else Fails, Change the Marketing Plan posted at Wisdom From Wenchypoo's Mental Wastebasket.

old-wizard presents Top 10 Ways to Tell if a Game is Hardcore posted at old-wizard.com.

GrrlScientist presents Tough Love for City's Homeless: Pay Rent or Get Out! posted at Living the Scientific Life, saying, "Sounding like a story that is fresh out of the satirical newspaper, The Onion, the eighth richest person in America tells thousands of homeless families (most of whom are single working mothers) in NYC to pay rent to live in a shelter or GET OUT!"

Aetius Romulous presents Stock Markets are Not Democratic posted at ScreamBucket.

steven germain presents I don't get it... posted at Rough Fractals, saying, "Why in tarnation do people give money to their former private colleges? I don't get it..."

Wenchypoo presents Keeping Up With the Enemy posted at Wisdom From Wenchypoo's Mental Wastebasket.

Silicon Valley Blogger presents Worst Economic Crisis Since The Great Depression: Who’s To Blame? posted at The Digerati Life, saying, "Thanks!"
Yep. Read this post. It's one person's take on who's to blame. Certainly open for discussion, but it's clear that the "Too big to fail" mantra we've heard so often lately (the last TWO FREAKING YEARS) is bullshit. I say,

"Too big to succeed."

If the government just seized the assets of say, Citibank, I think we'd be better off. We'd cut out all the middle men (i.e., always a waste) and have the same end result, only with less collateral damage.

That's my rant!


Madeleine Begun Kane presents The "We Did Nothing Wrong, & Nancy Should Have Stopped Us" Song posted at Mad Kane's Political Madness.

The Smarter Wallet presents Protect Your Assets From Financial Loss! Avoid Bad Financial Decisions posted at The Smarter Wallet, saying, "Thanks!"

Colin Timberlake presents Forced Fatherhood: Are Men Being Treated Equally? posted at colintimberlake.com, saying, "Colin Timberlake examines whether reproductive rights are evenly distributed in today's society..."

Biotunes presents Tax corn products for health care posted at Bioblog by Biotunes, saying, "Taxpayer money should pay for the health problems it causes"
I totally agree. This is why we should tax the hell out of cigarettes, alcohol, and why we should legalize so-called "illicit" drugs.


Archvillain presents Prayer is not a substitute for ability posted at A Dark and Sinister Force for Good, saying, "Reality has a heathen bias."

Wenchypoo presents Piety is No Substitute for Technique posted at Wisdom From Wenchypoo's Mental Wastebasket.

That concludes this edition. Submit your blog article to the next edition of Rants using our carnival submission form.

Past posts and future hosts can be found on our blog carnival index page.

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Dancing with the Stars Shawn Johnson in a Bikini!

She was delightfully hot and lean back in the day, but let's not forget she was like 12!

Shawn Johnson Bikini
Shawn Johnson Bikini - Revealing bikini pics of Shawn Johnson show just how powerful the tiny gymnast is and how hot she looks in a tiny bikini.


Thursday, May 21, 2009

Man Rips Head Off Hitler, Dick Cheney Shudders in Terror




BERLIN (Reuters) – A German court fined an unemployed man 900 euros ($1,227) Tuesday for knocking the head off a waxwork figure of Adolf Hitler in a Berlin museum.

Next thing you know, ole "Tricky Dick" Cheney will be ordering strip seaches and waterboarding of anybody wielding opposable thumbs. It's okay, W., you don't have to worry.

Related post:  Is Obama Hitler?

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Missing Link Found: And It Is Not Jimmy Kimmel

BREAKING NEWS: Scientists have found the link that has been missing that connects humans, chimps, and other apes to lower primates link lemurs.

SHOCKING NEWS: It's NOT Jimmy Kimmel!
"This is the first link to all humans," Hurum, of the Natural History Museum in Oslo, Norway, said in a statement. Ida represents "the closest thing we can get to a direct ancestor."
Ida, properly known as Darwinius masillae, has a unique anatomy. The lemur-like skeleton features primate-like characteristics, including grasping hands, opposable thumbs, clawless digits with nails, and relatively short limbs.
"This specimen looks like a really early fossil monkey that belongs to the group that includes us," said Brian Richmond, a biological anthropologist at George Washington University in Washington, D.C., who was not involved in the study.
While there is a resemblance between Jimmy and the so-called "missing link," there is, sad to say, no relation.

Insider Trading and Other Corporate Bad Ideas

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

KFC Ran Out of Chicken




A few weeks ago, Oprah Winfrey announced that KFC was giving away a new menu item. All you had to do was go online, type in a special URL, and print out your coupon for a free 2-piece chicken meal (including sides).

Yesterday was the last day to get the free vittles, so I did a google map search for the local KFC and found one about a mile and a half down the road.

Guess what?

KFC is giving rain checks for the deal. They'll "throw in" a Pepsi, too, free of charge.

Two Things:
  1. KFC cooks chicken! How can they run out? Why aren't they closed, then? After all, if they have no chicken, what are they selling in there?
  2. Makes you think twice about eating the stuff in the first place. If they really do stay open because they really do have chicken, what was so different about this chicken? Is it really chicken or is it squirrel? How would I know? Maybe it's the remains of dead cats from the animal shelter?
Scary stuff.

Shanna Moakler Resigns from Miss California USA Post

Pageant chief resigns after Prejean keeps crown
LOS ANGELES (Reuters) – The co-director of the Miss California USA beauty pageant resigned on Wednesday in protest over Carrie Prejean being allowed to keep her crown despite a furore over topless photos and anti-gay marriage views.


Friday, May 15, 2009

Snake Attacks Man's Penis While Man Took a Dump

THIS is seriously NOT funny.

Toilet snake attack: urban legend comes true?
TAIPEI (Reuters) – A Taiwanese man became a sitting target for a snake, which bit his penis as sat on the toilet at his rural home, local media reported on Monday.


Thursday, May 14, 2009

Lose Your Job? Your Erection? Pfizer to the Rescue!

A LOT of despondent men suffering from job loss and erectile dysfunction just got a happy pill:
TRENTON, N.J. – Pfizer Inc. says it will provide 70 of its most widely prescribed prescription drugs — including Lipitor and Viagra — for free to people who have lost their jobs and health insurance.
Free Lipitor, Viagra, other drugs for jobless



Obama Administration Contemplating How to Deal with Terrorism Suspects

A lot of folks breathed a sigh of relief when Barack Obama was elected President of the United States, especially those folks detained at Guantanamo Bay (aka Gitmo), since he said he'd close the military prison.

But now, he's in a pickle because he cannot just release them, can he?

So he's doing what any politician does: He's talking about it!
As part of its plans to close Guantanamo Bay, the Obama administration is considering holding some of the detainees indefinitely and without trial on US soil, US media reported Thursday.
Obama mulls 'indefinite detention' of terror suspects

How is this any different than just keeping Gitmo open? Moving the pieces doesn't change the game, does it?

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Dick Cheney Knows Dick About Torture

Richard "Dick" Cheney needs to just walk towards the horizon; nobody gives a flying fuck about his opinions any more. He says all the things the Bush team did during the aftermath of 9/11 saved lives, perhaps "hundreds of thousands" of lives.

Sure. I'm getting waterboarded and I'm scared out of my mind but I know nuthin' 'bout any schemes to bring down America, but guess what? I make shit up.

Every intelligence officer knows this.

But what if I do know about an upcoming attack? Won't I say something to stop from drowning?

Yes, I will. But will it be the truth? Debatable.

Bottom line: Cheney cannot speak to hypotheticals or "what might have been." None of us can.

I'm sure that psycho terrorists have hundreds of schemes, plans, and ideas about how to attack us next. Always have. Always will.

That doesn't mean that a) we captured guys who knew anything about future or past attacks, and b) that even if they knew, they'd tell us.

Odds are, we went on wild goose chases and the terrorists laughed their asses off at us. It's a good thing we got pictures of their asses, you know, for future prosecution.

I'm torn, however, on what to do about all this. Do we prosecute Cheney, Bush, and the rest of the Bush administration for war crimes? In my opinion, this was never a war (remember the "war on terrorism?"), so it's hard to even fathom "war crimes." No war, no war crimes. Forget about the crime part for a moment.

Ironically, though, Bush and Company coined the term, used it incessantly for 8 years, so perhaps the idea should be pondered to charge them for war crimes, just for fun. You know, use their words against them. It seems so perfectly DC.

But were crimes committed? I'm not sure. It seems that moral crimes were committed, for sure, but was anything done illegally?

Well, besides the wiretapping, the secret renditions, the holding of people against their will without ever charging them with anything...the list goes on.

But is waterboarding illegal? If it is, then our own military commits crimes every day they "train" people on waterboarding (specifically, to condition them if faced with being tortured themselves).

It is ironic that the "moral compass" (Bush and his born again "god-ism") went so astray, putting the safety of others not in god's hands but in his own. Had a god complex, I think. But I digress.

It's interesting to me that now that Cheney is no longer an inhabitant of the White House Cave, he's come out in public to reveal more of himself now than when he was relevant.

I suggest that he just go to his compound in Wyoming, get on the elevator, and push the Down button. I don't care if it stops in his bunker or goes straight to Hell.

Either way, Dick Cheney needs to vanish again. He's a creep.

Dick Cheney: Why So Chatty All of a Sudden?
For a man whose public profile was almost nonexistent while he was a public servant, it's clear from his schedule alone that private citizen Cheney hasn't merely resurfaced - he's gone on the offensive. The question is, Why?
Why indeed? Trying to get his ass out of really hot water, I bet.

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Rants - May 10, 2009

Welcome to the May 6, 2009 edition of Rants.

Madeleine Begun Kane presents Rudy's Family Values posted at Mad Kane's Political Madness.

Middle Man presents Electric Cars posted at Middle Man, saying, "Why electric cars won't save the planet"

John Tedder presents Schuylerville School Superintendent posted at Tedder's Random Notes, saying, "It's ridiculous what some School Superintendents make. Small school districts need to be consolidated to save money."

lavender presents Obesity causes global warming, say scientists posted at News for Freedom Daily.

Greg Laden presents Greg Laden's Blog : This Blogger's Take on the Miss California Maneno posted at Greg Laden's Blog.

David Lamb presents The Casualties of Human Psychology posted at Killer Buffalo.

Jeremy R. Shown presents McArdle distracted by Warren's efforts posted at Rhymes With Clown, saying, "Why are we wasting our time criticizing Elizabeth Warren given all the funny business over at the Fed?"

Wenchypoo presents Using Our Own Money Against Us Part 4 (a new one for me): Rearranging Bank Deck Chairs posted at Wisdom From Wenchypoo's Mental Wastebasket.

Michael Bass presents America Should Not Torture Those Whom She Arrests posted at Barry Broom.com, saying, "What you gonna do when they come for YOU?"

Madeleine Begun Kane presents They Only Have Themselves To Blame posted at Mad Kane's Political Madness.

Relax presents Should we worry about the recent flu pandemic? posted at The Wise Curve, saying, "Is it necessary for us to get into red alert mode to combat the flu? Or is it just another overrated mass media hoo-haa to influence people’s emotion"
Yes to the latter

Selkirk presents An Abject Failure: The First 100 Days posted at Political Castaway Blog: Broadcasting Conservatism to Rescue America.

Praveen presents Illinois Governor Tries To Eliminate Flat Income Tax posted at My Simple Trading System.

Shot presents First 100 days, the seeds of crisis?. posted at Conunderground.com.

Silicon Valley Blogger presents The Financial Task I Dread The Most posted at The Digerati Life, saying, "Thanks!"

The Smarter Wallet presents Avoid Scams: Watch Out For False Advertising and Skip The Snake Oil! posted at The Smarter Wallet, saying, "Thanks!"

Madeleine Begun Kane presents Karl's Roving Standards posted at Mad Kane's Political Madness.

NotYourDaddy presents Freedom is Not a Pendulum posted at Government is not your Daddy., saying, "When government takes power away from the people to determine what's in their best interests, that power does not swing back to the people, like a pendulum. The balance of power is permanently shifted from the people to the government, making it easier for government to usurp even more power in the future."

Eric Michael Johnson presents Priming the Pump of a Swine Flu Pandemic posted at The Primate Diaries.

Archvillain presents Ass in nine posted at A Dark and Sinister Force for Good, saying, "We're power-diving this country to ruin for the sake of "the children""

That concludes this edition. Submit your blog article to the next edition of Rants using our carnival submission form.

Past posts and future hosts can be found on our blog carnival index page.

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Monday, May 04, 2009

Hamthrax




I heard this term on the radio on the way in to work today - the new term for "swine flu" is "hamthrax."

Funny.

Jon and Kate Plus Eight Wants to Make It Nine

Jon Gosselin of "Jon and Kate Plus Eight" on TLC (about he and his wife Kate raising a set of twins and sextuplets) is in the news again - he reportedly was seen out late at night with a female who was not his wife!
JON AND KATE PLUS SOME MORE UGLY RUMORS: Once again, reality TV star Jon Gosselin is facing reports that he's cheating on his wife, and once again he's denying them.

Reports on several Web sites this week accused the "Jon" half of "Jon and Kate Plus 8" of stepping out on wife Kate when he was seen at a tavern in the couple's Pennsylvania with other women. Gosselin says he his only sin is bad judgment.

"Like most people, I have male and female friends and I'm not going to end my friendships just because I'm on TV," he says in a statement. "However, being out with them late at night showed poor judgment on my part. What makes me sick is that my careless behavior has put my family in this uncomfortable position. My family is the most important thing in my life and it kills me that these allegations have hurt them."

Earlier this year, reports had it that Gosselin was flirting — and maybe more — with coeds from nearby Juniata College. Gosselin denied those reports as well. The Gosselins' TLC channel reality show depicts their life raising 8-year-old twins and 4-year-old sextuplets
OMG, the horror!

First off, is anybody surprised any more about anything?

Second, who cares?

Third, and most importantly in my book, is: So? He went out to dinner, perhaps, with a co-worker who happened to be a woman! Sheesh, people, get a life.

Robert Schimmel Arrested on Domestic Violence Charges

Quite frankly, I'm shocked at the news that Robert Schimmel was arrested for beating his wife. I mean, his  comedy is really raunchy, nothing is off-limits, and he's crude, rude, and loud.

But he seems like such a real guy. Maybe that's the problem?

Anyway, whether or not he did it, Schimmel is one of the funniest people on the planet. I remember taking my wife to see him quite a few years ago, thinking to myself, "WTF was I thinking when I asked her if she wanted to go see him?" as he spewed nasty joke after nasty joke. I was thinking that I just wanted to leave. I was totally embarrassed that I took my wife to his show.

Until I slowly, carefully, slyly looked over at my wife as she was balled up in a laughing fit, nearly peeing her pants.

I immediately knew 3 things:
  1. I was okay
  2. Schimmel rocks even the girls
  3. My wife is totally cool
Here's the story. I hope it's not true. I won't ever be able to go see him again if he hit his wife. Joking about stuff is far different than actually doing it (not that I remember him joking about domestic violence, but I'd be surprised if he never did).
Stand-up comic Robert Schimmel was arrested Saturday on suspicion of beating his wife. Los Angeles County sheriff's deputies said the comedian, 59, was taken into custody after an alleged fight at his Calabasas home. Schimmel was booked in the county jail and later released on $50,000 bail. A call seeking comment from Schimmel's agent was not immediately returned. The comedian has been a frequent guest on Conan O'Brien's TV show and on Howard Stern's radio program. His 2008 memoir, Cancer on $5 a Day chronicles his battle with non-Hodgkin's lymphoma.
Philadelphia Inquirer | 05/04/2009


Monday, April 27, 2009

How Did Mexico Piss Off God?

As if an outbreak of "swine flu" wasn't enough, Mexico has suffered an earthquake. Next up, locusts, fire ants, HIV+, and the Rapture.

Sheesh, Mexico, what the hell did you do to deserve this?
MEXICO CITY – A strong earthquake struck central Mexico on Monday, swaying tall buildings in the capital and sending office workers into the streets. The quake rattled nerves in a city already tense from a swine flu outbreak suspected of killing as many as 149 people nationwide.
Quake jars already-nervous Mexico City residents


Friday, April 24, 2009

Former 'Mess USA' Tara Conner Faces Her Demons Again




 

Who the hell is Tara Conner? Oh, yeah, the ditz who almost lost her Miss USA beauty pageant crown because she's not as wholesome as Donald Trump!

FOXNews.com - Former 'Mess USA' Tara Conner Faces Her Demons Again - Celebrity Gossip | Entertainment News | Arts And Entertainment

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Rants - April 22, 2009









Welcome to the April 22, 2009 edition of Rants.




Gavin R. Putland presents Employment tax credits: the 'marginal' approach to full employment posted at On Line Opinion. 

NotYourDaddy presents Taxpayer Tea Parties All Across the Nation posted at Government is not your Daddy., saying, "If the founding fathers could have even imagined the plethora of laws, regulations, ordinances, taxes, licenses, permits, fees, etc. that we are subject to today, and which are constantly increasing, they would roll over in their graves." 

Madeleine Begun Kane presents Republican Road To Remedial Math posted at Mad Kane's Political Madness. 

Madeleine Begun Kane presents Does Your Guilt Spring Eternal? posted at Mad Kane's Humor Blog. 

Greg Laden presents Greg Laden's Blog : From Graduate School to Prison: What is the rational argument for ELF or ALF? posted at Greg Laden's Blog. 

David Lamb presents Are Keynesian Solutions a Self-Fulfilling Prophecy? posted at Killer Buffalo. 

Wenchypoo presents Why the Scum Always Seems to Rise to the Top posted at Wisdom From Wenchypoo's Mental Wastebasket. 

Archvillain presents Liberty Wept posted at A Dark and Sinister Force for Good, saying, "Since when are the police allowed to treat citizens like "the enemy"?" 

Aetius Romulous presents Economic Democracy Demands One World Balance posted at ScreamBucket. 

Aaron R presents An Immodest Proposal posted at Aaron Rogier, saying, "Yet another postmortem of the economy." 

Vianney Ausseil presents 32.2 million Americans received food stamps in January! posted at My 2 cents. 

Vianney Ausseil presents Bernie Madoff posted at My 2 cents. 

Vianney Ausseil presents France! France! We hear you! posted at My 2 cents. 

Kristian Bland presents It's Not Easy Not Being Green posted at Coquetting Tarradiddles, saying, "A humorous essay concerning the absurd mentality of many supporters of the "Going Green" movement." 

Papa Boomer presents Double Standards??? Fairness from the Far Left! posted at Consumer Boomer. 

The Whited Sepulchre presents The Whited Sepulchre: A Subtle Suggestion For Senator Charles Grassley posted at The Whited Sepulchre, saying, "Here's a rant about the hypocrisy of one of my least favorite Republicans - Iowa Senator Charles Grassley." 

Shot presents Obama’s New Maginot Line | Conunderground.com posted at Conunderground.com, saying, "such wounds are most often found on cadavers. The cadavers of victims that evidently tried desperately to defend themselves against violent and deadly attacks, but could not muster enough strength or will to inflict sufficient damage upon the attacker in order to stop the attack. The results often wear a toe tag." 

lavender presents Is it insanitea? posted at News for Freedom Daily. 

Whitney presents I Resolve to Take a Sundancing Shit on Utah posted at Whitney's Joint.

That concludes this edition. Submit your blog article to the next edition of Rants using our carnival submission form.

Past posts and future hosts can be found on our blog carnival index page.

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The Refrigerator Perry remains hospitalized with Guillain-Barre Syndrome

From 'The Refrigerator' Perry remains hospitalized - NFL- nbcsports.msnbc.com -

AIKEN, S.C. - Former Chicago Bears defensive lineman William “The Refrigerator” Perry remains hospitalized in South Carolina.

Aiken Regional Medical Center spokeswoman Melissa Summer said Wednesday that Perry is in serious condition. The 46-year-old Perry has been hospitalized to deal with complications from Guillain-Barre Syndrome, a chronic inflammation disorder of the peripheral nerves.

Full story here - 'The Refrigerator' Perry remains hospitalized - NFL- nbcsports.msnbc.com

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Celine Dion in Line to Ruin NHL Montreal Canadiens

OMFG - Celine Dion wants to buy the Montreal Canadiens of the National Hockey Leauge! This is not only crazy talk, it's downright ungodly and evil.

Why would she want to taint the historic team with her brand of phony and pomposity?
TORONTO (Reuters) – A group of Quebec's elite including singer Celine Dion, Seagram heir Stephen Bronfman and Quebecor Inc head Pierre Karl Peladeau is considering a bid for the National Hockey League's Montreal Canadiens, the Globe and Mail said on Thursday.

The newspaper, citing financial sources, said team owner George Gillett is mulling a second round of bids for the storied team which he bought nine years ago for $185 million.
Read the rest of the sad, sad story here - Celine Dion, others eye NHL's Canadiens: report - Yahoo! News

Monday, April 20, 2009

Stinky Man Is Stabbed

From the Department of Taking Things Just a Bit Too Far -
WACO, Texas – A man was stabbed after causing a stink — literally — in a motel room while eating with a friend, police said. Five men from the Houston area were sharing a Waco motel room Tuesday night, and two were inside the room eating when one had a flatulence problem, Waco police Officer Steve Anderson said. One man was so upset about the gas that he threw a large knife at him, cutting his leg, and then stabbed him in the chest, Anderson said.
Read the full story here - Man causing real stink in motel room gets stabbed

Friday, April 17, 2009

Pirate Bay Team Sentenced to Jail, $4.5 Million Fine

I don't condone copyright infringement, but I think the modern-day version of copyright law has to keep up with modern-day technology. It's kind of ridiculous for the movie and music industries to charge grandma for stealing intellectual property when there are bigger fish to fry (like mass-produced bootleg videos from China, and don't get me started on fake pharmaceuticals!)...

One argument is this: If I find $10 on the ground while I'm walking my dog, did I steal it? Or did I find it?

Same with the Internet: If I find unprotected music, is it a crime to pick it up?

Now, if there's an organization that takes the IP and puts it up for others to find, then I have an issue with that.

But that's not exactly what the Pirate Bay does. They simply tell you where to find content. They don't provide the content themselves. They don't house any of the copyrighted material.

The collective "entertainment" (and software, too) industry makes it kind of difficult to get the material that I want.

For example, I like "Deadliest Catch." It's on Discovery and it's about the crab fishing industry in the Bering Sea out of Alaska. It's a great show. I'd like to just buy the damn series before it's on TV so that I can watch it at my leisure. I have a TiVo, I have multiple computers, and I have a DVD player. But the pricing and terms are out of line - $145 for seasons 1-4. That's a bit steep.

After all, how much revenue do they squeeze out of me through ads if I watch the free version on TV? That's right, a big fat ZERO!

(By the way, I don't watch commercials. They're for chumps.)

So, if they priced an entire season at $9, they would get 9 bucks out of me they weren't going to get in the first place. And I'd gladly pay that amount. It's worth it to me to get the series on my terms.

It's like when airlines want to charge you $500 for a cross-country flight that's about to take off and the plane is half-full. Wouldn't they be better off charging me cost-plus some percent? Sure they would. Right now, though, their "plus some percent" is 1,000 or more (do the math. you get it.)

And don't give me any crap about "you're licensing this material; you don't own it." Fuck you. If I pay for it, I bought it. And don't call it rent, either. I bought it, I own it, I should be able to watch it when I'm 100.

One more thing: Settle on a goddamned format, would you? There's iTunes, mp3, WMA, and that's just for music! Sheesh, no wonder nobody wants to pay for your content!

Your content sucks!

Can I just buy ONE VERSION and play it in my car, on my iPod, at my house, on my boat I don't own, and in my corporate jet that I don't own either? C'mon, guys. There's one rule of sales:

Find out what people want and give it to them

"Give" does not mean "free." Give at a fair price.

Greedy bastards. Anyway, I'm a little off-track here. I wanted to tell you about a funny quote from the spokesperson for Pirate Bay (their programmer), Peter Sunde:
“It’s so bizarre that we were convicted at all and it’s even more bizarre that we were [convicted] as a team. The court said we were organised. I can’t get Gottfrid out of bed in the morning. If you’re going to convict us, convict us of disorganised crime.

“We can’t pay and we wouldn’t pay. Even if I had the money I would rather burn everything I owned, and I wouldn’t even give them the ashes.”


Pirate Bay Team Sentenced to Jail

High Speed Sex Has Its Costs

Couple having sex in the car while speeding on the highway were pulled over for - ahem - multiple infractions!
OSLO (AFP) – A Norwegian man faces a heavy fine and a driving ban after police caught him having sex with his girlfriend while speeding on the motorway, police said Monday.
Read the rest of the sordid story here - Police nab Norwegian pair during high-speed sex

Thursday, April 16, 2009