Day 1 of the Republican National Convention

Just like the Democratic National Convention, I watched some of the festivities. For example, I watched our current president gush over John McCain and his POW experience. This, after using the dirty tactics he used in 2000 against McCain, planting the seed that McCain had an affair with a black woman.

I also saw Fred Flintstone Thompson talk endlessly about McBain's war heroism. OMFG, they need to STOP with the POW crap! It drives me crazy. The man's biggest accomplishment was by being a total failure. He got shot down. He lived. Big deal.

It's not like he survived cancer. (Yeah, I know he did. But it was skin cancer. Again, big deal.)

Rudy was supposed to speak, but he either didn't or I missed him and his big ass-mouth. I'm sure he threw in some heroic deeds of his own, about how he saved the city of New York from Osama bin Laden, or how his top cop was a one-time consideration for DHS head.

It seems all the Republicans have left is the military. I'm afraid if they lose this one, they'll order the armed services to enforce martial law; it's their only chance at retaining control.

The more I hear about Miss Alaska Runner-up, the less I like her. She'd better do that Playboy spread soon (Penthouse seems more her style, but I digress). All the McBoners with Viagra need some eye-lovin'. I did see some footage of McCain's introduction of Palin as his running mate (or is it, as the Daily Show surmised, his future 3rd wife); all he could do was stare at her ass. I'm not sure what body she has left after having 5 kids, one just this year at age 44, but apparently her ass is better than that beer-fed Skeletor he's shackin' up with.

If this post seems a little sour on the Repugnicans, I don't apologize. I still hurt from the jilting I got in 2001, when the neo-cons took over my party. Everything, and I mean everything, they supposedly stand for, they really don't. Here's a short list:

• Family values
• Morals
• State's rights
• Country first
• Fiscally responsible
• Let the market decide
• Stay out of people's lives
• Lower taxes

I don't know about you, but on each of these topics, I was better off under President Clinton, and I hated that dude. If asked, "Am I better off today than 8 years ago?" I'd have to say yes, but only because I got lucky and made some good decisions. This government certainly did nothing for me. And for that, I'm casting my ballot for Barack Obama.

I'll watch McSame's speech, and I really can't wait for Palin's, but they've got no chance of winning me over.

Surge? You think the surge worked, man? What worked is we spent way more money than they did and we waited it out. By that logic, we'd have won Vietnam by 1980. But there would have been a downside: Rambo would have never been written and Ronald Reagan never would have been president. Besides, the only country Reagan invaded, he won in like 24 hours.

Read more about McCain here.

More tomorrow.